Life’s First Romance.


2 thoughts on “Life’s First Romance.

  1. I think this was a great topic to write about, well done! I think there is something sad about the fact that when someone is alone, he or she gets badgered, “any love interests?” or “seeing anyone new lately?” Its sad that a strong, smart, independent woman can be pitied just because she doesn’t have a partner. I loved your use of metaphors and imagery it made the message that much more powerful. I really enjoyed your last idea about the bread it was cute and actually made me laugh a little.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sherein, Nice work here. A strong message that doesn’t take over the poem, but sits nicely beside it. I wondered (no pun intended) if there was a way to set up the bread metaphor so that it lands. Also, allow yourself to play around with the syntax a bit more. That And at the beginning of line 5 connects that statement to the one before, but you could let that be a stand-alone statement, moving your reader forward more decisively: Stop letting other people, etc. The “because” might be worth deleting as well. I often find I use these connectors to keep me writing, to keep the poem moving, in the process of getting a first draft down, but often omitting them makes the poem stronger. Nice use of multimedia.


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